Today was a good day.

For the past few weeks I've had little patience. Every little thing makes my blood boil--- seeing the playroom a mess, picking up after everyone all the time, and just the general out of control nature of having 2 kids. I've been impatient with both kids and last night I decided it was time to stop. My Buddha doesn't respond well to any kind of negativity, so I had to readjust.

And today was the day that makes me want 12 more kids. I kept my patience-o-meter firmly in check. I let things roll of my back. I picked up a bowl of chocolate covered pretzels that had all the chocolate sucked off and only the soggy pretzel left and I felt grateful that I get to be the one to pick up after these 2 beautiful little people. Maybe it's the gratitude challenge... Maybe it's hearing about someone who lost their baby... Whatever it is I'm going to hold on to it. Both kids were in better moods, as was I. They learned more today than they did all week. We laughed a lot and tickled a lot.

One small error- I took them to a Halloween store to look for something and they were scared shitless by all the spooky sounds and creepy costumes. And I may have used the word 'slutty' to describe all female costumes in front of them. But besides that traumatic and most likely terrifying outing, we're all good.

Day 8 of 21

Day 7(for me Day 8): Send thank you notes to five people who deserve a little recognition.

I'm doing this here...

1. NLDJERI- She supplies my Cam with tons of cute hand-me-downs that prevent me from spending tons of money. She's thoughtful and fun, and you feel good being around her.
2. BFF's- These skanks have helped me grow so much. It's so nice to have friends who are dedicated to being good people and doing the right thing.
3. My parents- They did a great job. But their greatest value to me now is that they're willing to admit what they did wrong, in turn making me a better parent that can learn from their mistakes. Most people can't do that b/c of guilt, etc. I think I have a mutualistic relationship with my parents, we both learn from each other and benefit.
4. My in-laws- I may complain about the nutty things they do, but they're good people. I like having them around my kids. They tolerate me, which has got to be a load for anyone to handle.
5. My SIL's- They can't possibly know how important they are to us.

Day 7 of 21 Gratitude

Take a picture of one thing, person, place or specific moment that makes you feel grateful.


I have good kids. They're kind and they love each other. I've seen Buddha stand up for Cam, and I've watched Cam cry when Buddha goes to school because she doesn't want to be without him. When I am alone with one of them having a 'special mommy day,' I will get them a treat. Each of them will instantly ask to get one for the other one.

Day 6 of 21 Gratitude

I'm doing his gratitude challenge but I'm all out of order.

So today I'll do the one I'm missing, and from now on I'll be on track. I figure this is about me so I'm not worried...

Day 6
write about how grateful you are for all of the wonderful things that you currently have in your life.

I have too much. I have so much that I worry about losing it all.
I'm grateful for the home we have and the safe, reliable cars we drive.
At night, when I rock my kids and read them stories, I look at them and I'm so proud of Hubby and me--- my kids are safe and warm and loved, in clean clothing in a clean house.... they crawl into their soft, clean sheets... I watch them over a video monitor... we're able to surround them with wonderful things. I know the things don't matter, but it's nice to use the soap that won't irritate their skin, and the pajamas that are supersoft and comfortable. I'm grateful for every little thing that keeps them safe, clean, and warm.
I'm grateful for a big backyard for my kids to play in.

Gratitude 5 of 21

Day 1: My kids
Day 2: ME
Day 3: Husband
Day 4: Parent-Friends

Day 5: Family and friends
I would try to break this down, but the lines so often cross and blur. My SIL's are family, but are some of the greatest friends I could ask for. My best friends are friends, but feel like family. My mom and dad are great people, people that I don't give enough credit to sometimes. My dogs are more important to me than anyone knows. I love them and I miss getting to dote on them like I used to.

I can choose my friends, and I've done well. I can't choose my family, and I'm still extremely fortunate. I can't complain, I'm so grateful for the love that finds its way to me daily.

Coincidence? I think not. (& Day 4 of Gratitude)

It just so happens that one of Buddha's best friends did a brave and caring act for him, one that broke my heart in its kindness and selflessness, and one that showed the character of the parents that are instilling these values in her.

Is it a coincidence that she did this act of pure kindness the week that I'm shopping for her birthday present? I'm literally having to make myself stop from buying her everything Cinderella that I see.

Gratitude
Day 4: My Parent-Friends
How do you thank the people who are raising their children to be compassionate and thoughtful? I am overwhelmed by the goodness I've surrounded myself and my family with. I've seen Buddha's girlfriends do so many kind acts around him, acts that reflect their nature and upbringing and their parents' commitment to them. Some are small and some are big in nature, but they are all THEIR nature and for that I'm grateful.

Seriously, you can't take me anywhere.

I went to the dentist a few days ago. I was sitting in the lobby waiting when the hygenist and receptionist starting chatting with me. I told them I had just dropped my kids off so I could be there, and the hygenist said "You've had 2 kids?!?!"

I was expecting the usual "Oh my god you're so skinny!" response. So I let my guard down. Mistake #1.

She threw me off. She said "You look so YOUNG!!"

My head was confused. My preplanned response of "Oh gosh thanks I work out" was useless. So instead, I blurted out the most offensive and craziest shit that popped into my head. I said "I was a child bride." And I did it with a serious face. Mistake #2.

Their faces fell and they did NOT laugh. Apparently it's not funny to joke about girls being forced into marriages. You live you learn.

Gratitude 3 of 21

Day 1: My kids
Day 2: ME

Day 3: My husband.

He makes life better, plain and simple. He has integrity and sincerity that I've never found in anyone else. He works hard and plays harder. He is funny. He is stubborn. I have never doubted my marriage. I've never wondered if it would work out or if it may end. I've known without a doubt from day one. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to wonder... if it will work, if you're meant for each other, if he will cheat... He has never made me wonder. And it's been over 10 years. I love him more every day than the day before. He is a good father. I think sometimes he is overwhelmed by how much he loves his kids. He does a good job. He wants the best for our family.

Gratitude 2 of 21

Day 1: My kids.

Day 2: ME.
I'm a good person and I'm grateful that I was raised with love and respect and that I am able to learn more about life everyday. I'm strong, much stronger than most people know. Husband has been surprised a few times about how strong I can be. I do a good job. I'm a good mother. Husband is gone a large percentage of the time, but I hold us together well. I strive to show my kids an example of strength every day. They see me doing this alone. I want them to learn from that. I make sure that even though he's gone a lot, my kids don't feel like he's gone. I try to make the time that he's gone fly. I make sure they know why he's gone, and the importance in it. I'm a good wife to my husband. I'm unselfish and relatively understanding. He can trust me and he knows it.

Gratitude 1 of 21

I'm doing the Gratitude Project, 21 days of being grateful.

Day 1:
It's a no brainer, my kids. They're amazing little creatures who have shown me the meaning of life. They are brilliant and loving, and every day they surprise me with another element of love. Even on their worst days, they're not that bad.

Catfights & screaming newborns

I'm fairly sure I shouldn't be having any more children. While at the pediatrician's office today, I heard several newborn cries. Those cries once made my boobs harden and squirt milk in several directions. Those cries once made me want to grab the crying baby and hug the warmth and smell the sweet smell of milk and tears and baby shampoo.

Today I thought someone brought a cat to the doctor's office. And tortured it.

We have 2 neighborhood cats that both love to shit in our yard so our idiot dog can then roll in the shit and come inside smelling awful. The same 2 cats use our front porch as their territorial fighting ground. They scream and moan and go on for the longest time, or at least until I take a broom out there. The babies crying today sounded just like a mating or fighting cat. I didn't want to hold it. I wanted to get my broom.

Calling for the vasectomy soon.

Near brush with swine flu!

I seem to have peculiar things happen to me at pediatricians' and veterinarians' offices. Today was no different. I took the kiddos to do their 4 year and 2 year checkups. We were the 8am appt, first in line! The waiting room was empty, no sick little effers running around to infect us.

We get them weighed and their height measured then head back to the room. The doctor comes in and Buddha hugs him (he loves him) and then he turns to Cam, who has eyed him with suspicion since day one. She gives him a dirty look and rejects his offer for a high five. He checks Buddha out and then I smell poop. Thinking Cam pooped her diaper, I check. Nope. Then Buddha looks at me and giggles uncontrollably. He farted, and thought it was hilarious. I apologized and promised to put manners as our top priority this month.

We were at the checkout desk paying and I was giving the kids a lollipop from the basket when a boy about 10 years old shoves his grimy hand in the basket.

We see this boy and his mom waiting on the elevator and she is on her cell phone. This is what I heard, "Hey, you may not want to come over tomorrow. My oldest son has swine flu, I just left the doctor and he should be back in school Wed."

Excuse me? You let him rummage through the lollipops?!?! When we're at the doctor for a sick visit, I make my kids stand against the wall while I sign in if there are any other kids around. She not only let him hang out at the desk within inches of several kids, but she let him RUMMAGE his mothereffing hand in the basket.

So the elevator door opens and I'm resisting the urge to rip her arm off and beat her with it. They get in and look at me. I tell the kids "Let's wait for the next elevator." And yes, I'm covering both of their mouthes with my hand. She looks at me in a bitchy way and says "Y'all coming in?" I couldn't form thoughts, so I just blurted out "NO! YOU HAVE SWINE FLU." She gets another dirty look ready and tells me he's almost better. I return her dirty look and again say "YOU HAVE SWINE FLU!"

Door closes.

End of Act IV

Privacy is stupid

I tried making this blog private for several reasons. Mostly so I wouldn't offend anyone. But I think everyone can put their big girl panties on and get over it.

Happiness

Is anyone allowed to be happy?

Can I be happy and share my positivity with you without being accused of rubbing it in?

If my happiness triggers some kind of weird competitive instinct in you, is that my problem or yours?

Why does your misery correlate to my happiness?

Do girls want other girls to attain any level of happiness? Or just one level less than them?


These are all things I've been thinking about recently. I'm really trying to find some answers, besides the typical "jealousy" excuse. There's more to this than just jealousy. There's hate and spite and malice. There's a lot of measuring oneself in relation to others. I know we're social and there's always some extent of defining ourselves in relation to our peers, but we're also individuals who are capable of defining ourselves based on the reality we choose to create for ourselves.

In an unhappy situation? A situation is something created by you and the participants in that situation. Outsiders have nothing to do with it. Change it if you don't like it. But don't take it out on the people around you. YOU made your decisions and you have to live with them, but that doesn't mean that you can't be happy too. Make some decisions now, about what you want in life regardless of what everyone else has.

Happy Birthday Cam!

Cam turns 2 today, and our tradition (stolen from a friend) is to have ice cream and waffles for breakfast.

Happy Birthday Cam!

Farewell!

I knew the time was coming...

I'm going to make this blog private. I have some embarassing stories, etc and with the success of the other site I work on, it's pretty clear to me that a family member or neighbor may stumble across my blog and not enjoy the content. I think I may put up a new blog in this one's place that won't be so quick to offend anyone.

So if you want to read the unadulterated version, shoot me an email at mrschik at hotmail dot com so I can add you.

Even those of you who "don't like" me, because I know you still read. HA!

mObama

I think it's disheartening that the people who are up in arms about evil Obama making a speech about education in the classroom are the same people who find it perfectly constitutional to have Christian prayer mandated in public schools.

You take that constitution and work it any way you need to in order to justify what works for you. The rest of us will just suffer, but that's okay because we're a minority. Cheers!

I would ask someone to explain the logic in this, but there is none.

Just say NO!!

I don't understand parents who can't say no.

If your child said they wanted to run in to a busy street, would you cave after they whined about it and let them? If they said they didn't want to sit in their car seat, would you put your foot down? Then why will you let them boss you around and treat you like their bitch in line at the grocery store?

Why can't people do it about other things too? Why is it only safety (and sometimes not even that) that makes people discipline their kids? It's important for kids to learn NO.

I'm not perfect, I cave sometimes... but I try to keep it to a minimum and I'm not afraid to grab both kids and leave somewhere. Surely that has to be teaching them something.

If you feel this post is judgy... then you may be one of those people. Mull it over.