Douchebag: still the greatest word in the English vocabulary.
I have been answering my phone with the greeting "Word up!" I can't seem to stop. I really want to stop.
At Walmart today I was doing our restocking shopping. Basically I wait until we run out of everything then face the cess pool of Walmart or Sam's. Today I saw "Sport" Tampons. I had to buy them. What makes a tampon a sport tampon? I asked myself all day, and when I got home I cracked one out only to find that it's just a tampon in a green shell. Let down. Now I have an open tampon and it just seems gross to save it until it's needed so out it went. Waste of money.
We watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. We have discussed how similar I can be to Larry David. It's funny when it's on tv, not real life. I'm really trying to get over some of my neurotic, in my head stuff.
We're car shopping right now. I went to the dealership and berated the salesman and couldn't make myself stop. It's some weird defense mechanism... I know they're all trying to stick it to us so I default to crazy bitch auto-pilot.
Saw a kid pick his nose and eat it. Reflex reaction: threw a magazine in front of my face and gasped AHHH! His mother saw me and was more alarmed by my reaction than the germ filled mucus in his mouth. Priorities.
Halloween is around the corner and I'm excited. Both kids understand and are so very anxious to get their trick-or-treat on! I'm almost ready to post some pics of my homemade costume creations.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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5 comments:
I saw Ellie pick her nose the other day. She was about to put it in her mouth and I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! so loud that I think I may have scarred her for life. Oh well, as long as she never does it again. = )
You need Alice.com. I have not been to Wal-MArt in three months. I loved it so much I put it on my blog.
I am DYING at this post! Wanna know why? No? Well, I'm telling you anyway!
1) I've been answering my phone with "Go for Kellie". Not nearly as funny as "Go for Dickie", but still. When the caller hears that, there's silence for at least 30 seconds. It's great.
2) A month ago, I bought the box of Sport tampons. I was all giddy with anticipation at what made it so sporty. HUGE letdown. I,too, tossed the open harpoon. Just seemed wrong to wait to use it.
3) While in Wal-Hell this morning, I saw a WOMAN....a grown ASS WOMAN!!!...stick her hand down the back of her pants, root around for her MIA underwear, whip her hand out and then inspect it.
My reaction? "Awww, hell NO you didn't just do that?!"
Out loud. And she heard me. And I didn't give a crap. Eww. Just EWWWW!!!
Did you know that kids that eat their snot actually get sick less often? Or so "they" say anyway.
I agree. Douchebag is one of, if not THE greatest word in the English language.
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