Story #1:
30th birthday, I vomit in my purse. Old news. Any and all items in the purse were subjected to a few days of alcohol sterilization. My auto insurance card was nearly falling apart, so I put it in a ziploc baggy and put it in my purse just in case... until the new one came.
Story #2:
I saw Wicked last week and it was AMAZING. Completely different from the book, but wonderful nonetheless. I went with a group of great whores, and I stashed a little puppy chow in my purse for myself and my food partner C. We ate it all.
Story #3:
A few days ago I was speeding to the gym. I put my purse in the trunk when going to the gym. I get pulled over by a motorcycle cop. He asks for my license and proof of insurance, and I explain that it's in the back. I get my purse and grab the first ziploc baggy I find to show him my insurance card, but instead pull out a small bag of white powder. Then I panic and say "It's not cocaine it's powdered sugar!" He is not amused. So then I pull out my other ziploc baggy with my barely held together insurance card in it. And I make it even better by telling him why the insurance card is tattered and torn and in a baggy.
There was no warning. I got a ticket.
Friday, April 17, 2009
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6 comments:
You mentioned cocaine? You novice!
And how do these stories connect? I think that you did your cocaine before every incident. Am I right?
Oh. My. Gawd. That is fabulous. (Except for the ticket, of course. But at least you got a good story out of it.)
I love this story!! I can totally see you doing this.
HAHAHAHA!!!
oh, dear, you make me laugh!
You? Are funny.
Make-me-laugh-out-loud-funny.
The puking in the purse story still makes me giggle.
:)
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