New Year's Resolutions

I'm still working on my list of improvements for this new year... I like resolutions because I view us all as works in progress. I try to improve throughout the year, but there's nothing like the date of 1/1 to set as a new beginning. And I must pat myself on the back- I usually do very well at my resolutions, they are quite realistic and practical.

This is what I have so far:
1. Make more time for my dogs. (Turn brushing time into playtime)
2. Learn more patience. (Stop and breathe when I'm feeling frustrated)
3. Join a gym and work out. (At least once a week, but hopefully twice)
4. Loosen up on the strictness level with my children. (Perfection, not required)
5. Better our diet. (Less fried foods, with the exception of egg rolls)
6. Budget better... I've gotten lazy. (Set spending limits on groceries and eating out)
7. Treat Husband better. (Sex where I don't say things like "Cam is waking up, FOCUS! and get on with it!)
8. I have already surrounded myself with wonderful people, but I am going to really show them how much they mean to me via random acts of generosity throughout the year. (Random drive-bys from random_mommy bearing goodwill, watch out!)

:)

Xmas 2008

Too many toys.
Too much food.
Too much drink.
Too much to ever possibly deserve.

Holiday Cheer!

I meant to do this at thanksgiving, but alas, here it is.

My life is wonderful. I couldn't ask for more. Sometimes I worry because of this, because surely something bad has to happen to balance things out. Okay, I worry more than just sometimes, I worry a lot. But then I refocus my attention back on all the good, and I get through the worry for the moment.

The Good:
1. My Husband. I have this Husband who is amazing. So many people in our lives have told us that we are the couple that will last, that we were the wedding they went to where they got a good feeling. Those people don't know how much those simple words mean to me. As a couple, we are honest and giving, selfish at times, but always communicating. We know that our marriage is the best gift we can give our children, and it is the priority.

2. My children. These 2 kids are beyond words. They are brilliant and thoughtful and have changed my life forever. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't catch myself staring at them while they aren't looking. They are what living is all about, this love that can't be described, this force within yourself that you never knew existed. They have made me better in every way: more patience, more introspection, more love. I just read The Road, and the father and son are "each the other's world entire." Nothing ever made more sense to me.

3. My dogs. They were my babies, and now they are my friends. They don't get the attention they used to, and I feel guilty everyday for not having anything left in me to give them. (They are one of my NY's resolutions.) But these two dogs love me. And they hate kids, but they love mine and they tolerate a lot. These dogs have been through it all with us.

4. My friends. They are my family too. I only have a few very close friends. I like to know a lot of people, but there's just not enough time in the day to reach that level of closeness with a dozen people. I'm happy with my few, and I am so proud of them. I want the whole world to know what kind of people they are... their character, their values, their inegrity and honesty. They get me and when I'm around them it is like a sense of relief washes over me. I relax. If I say something stupid, I know I'm forgiven before I finish saying it. Because they know me and they know my heart. They support me. Even in times when I already know they're right behind me, I look around and find that they aren't behind me, but right next to me holding my hand. I have grown closer to them than ever, and I can't wait to share more of life with them.

5. My parents and other family. ***My family doesn't read this so I'm putting theirs in their Xmas card. (Yes, I know my dogs don't read it either, but I'll tell them what I wrote.)

6. My sisters-in-law. They have become part of our daily life in the best way possible. My son talks about them like they are gods. They do no wrong in his eyes, and that's just how it should be. My daughter runs to them and jumps into their arms. Their son lights up when he sees me. (I'm a kick-ass aunt, fyi.) They help us without fail, they lean on us and we lean back. They have become so integral to our daily life that I'm not sure how we could do this without them.

7. My mommy group. I was terrified to move to B'ham. I just knew everyone would be very closed-minded and extremely conservative. I thought they'd hate me. I was shocked to find this group of mommies. They are not typical, some are very conservative, but never in your face or nasty about it. They are open-minded and have embraced me as well as my sisters-in-law. They have no idea how much I appreciate this. I don't see them everyday or every week, but when I do see them it makes me happy. They feel good to be around. There are so many who have similar beliefs and values as me, and I never thought that would happen here. They are smart and thoughtful. They are exactly what I needed, and I appreciate each of them.


So Happy Holidays, my best wishes to everyone!

The Meaning of Life

I watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 the other night, it was their St. Jude special. I couldn't even handle it. A four year old girl said "I get chemo because I have cancer." I can't even begin to imagine how it feels to hear your child, your baby, say that... to use words like chemo...

The little girl's mother then explained how blessed they are. Because of their experiences, they know the meaning of life. Which is: take each second and treasure and cherish it, take nothing for granted.

I've heard that before. I know it's right, I understand it. But how do we live it? How do we stop letting the everyday parts of life get in the way? How do we learn to stop focusing on the negative, the petty, and the pointless? How can we be more grateful?

I, for one, am going to try to get this message through my head. I am going to remind myself of it every time Buddha or Cam misbehaves. I am going to focus on the positive. I am going to let things go... I'm mad that I let things like someone cutting me off in traffic irritate me... I am so grateful and so fortunate, and there's no room for anything else.

Seriously?!?!

 

How can she BE this cute?

And together with her cousin...

Thanksgiving 2008

 

Sometimes I question myself, as a person, as a parent, etc... Am I doing the right thing? Am I teaching my kids what they need to know?

And then I see moments like this, and I'm pretty sure I am.

Surgery & Sadness

Buddha had a minor surgery this week, it was a one day thing and went well. I don't really want to talk about it though. What I do want to talk about is what I experienced at the hospital. I don't like it. I don't know how people can work in a children's hospital. They are special people. I was holding my very healthy son, listening to babies cry and scream in pain. How hard does that hit you? How unfair is it that babies get sick? Babies are supposed to be babies, to cry and eat and poop. Pediatric Oncology shouldn't exist. The NICU should not be needed. No baby should have to go through it. Kids shouldn't get cancer. It's not fair. It makes my stomach feel like I just got punched when I drive into the hospital parking garage and see that there are no spots left. How can this many kids be sick? How do the parents deal with this? How do they smile when they're dying inside? I don't know what it is, faith in something more, faith in nothing at all, but whatever it is has to be strong. And any parent who has ever had to deal with any of it or had a baby in the NICU, I am so sorry. It's not fair.

A nice quote

"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
-Judith Martin

Trends and People-watching

I was at the doctor's office for several hours today and got in some top notch people watching.

Case 1: The Girl in Fur
I saw a youngish girl (mid 20's) wearing a denim skirt with a sweater that had fur trimming the neck and sleeves, along with knee length boots that looked like a small woodland creature was on each foot. At first sight, she looked fashionable. Then I looked closer... and she looked silly to me. It's 65 degrees outside and she is dressed like a sherpa ascending Mt. Everest. On the one hand, I can identify with her... with the urge to dress a 'way' in order to follow trends, but on the other hand it's 65 degrees and there is no need for fur. I can only assume the fur was fake because I forgot my vials of fake blood to throw.

Case 2: The Cougar in the Corner
I love a good cougar, they rock. But a true cougar knows that she has to dress her age or she walks a fine line of sluttiness. Today's Cougar in the Corner ran past the line of sluttiness and straight into the end zone of Skank. When you're 45, you don't need to dress like you're 15. Your shirt shouldn't have a witty saying on it along with rhinestone-like decorations. Your jeans should cover at least 85% of your butt. It's bad enough that 15 year olds dress like that... they don't know any better... they define themselves by how much attention they can get from men. Shouldn't an extra 30 years of life experience teach you something?

So the conclusion I drew today is this: Black tee shirt, jeans, flip flops. Can't go wrong.

Quit please.

Don't join something if you're just going to badmouth it. Don't become a part of a group or club and then talk about how stupid it is. You can quit, it's not required. Acting like you think it's silly or beneath you just shows how insecure you are. It's okay to want to be a part of something. If you can't be proud of it, then you are a detriment to that organization. Leave. Quickly.

Kids.

I had to pick Buddha up a few minutes early from school today, so I had to go in instead of doing carpool line. I was chatting with his teachers and saw the other teachers talking to I'm a Mom's Munchkin. She was asking something, the teacher said okay, and then she came running over to me. She gave me a huge hug, laid her head on me, and said "I'm SOO happy to see you!!"

I almost cried. So freaking sweet. She totally made my day and I've felt so happy ever since. It was compounded by the fact that Buddha saw this transpire, and quickly grabbed my hand and said "My Mommy." Seriously?!?! I've never felt so popular! I may run for class president.

The one where I preach about parenting, or lack thereof

I'm not the perfect parent, at all. And I know we all have those moments...

Today made me stop and wonder if I'm too critical. Am I demanding too much from my kids? I do NOT want them to grow up feeling like they have to be perfect, but I want them to learn to not be selfish. Just like in everything, there is a fine line... and today made me wonder where I'm standing on that line.

If I say the rule is that you will stay in the cart, you will stay in the cart. If you don't want to, we leave. It may not be that way for everyone, but it is for me. We have rules to keep us safe and make us courteous. I know it's hard to stick to it but I think I have to or he'll remember it and use it against me later!! We've had our share of public tantrums, and it happens to everyone. I think it's how you handle those tantrums that is so important. I would rather hear a screaming toddler getting taken out of a store than see him appeased with candy. I applaud all who go the extra mile and put in the effort to do it the right way, because the right way is the harder way. Seeing people struggle and work it out makes me feel better and like I can do it too. Surely there's a reward for that?!?

On the airplane, I was THIS close to letting Cam walk the aisle, but thankfully Husband held fast. She wanted down so badly, but he was right... it's not our airplane, the aisle isn't made for kids to be walking up and down and poking or looking at people while those people are trying to relax. Now, in order to prevent her from running crazy, we had to entertain her like it was Cats on Broadway. It made me realize that a lot of this stems from laziness... it's easier to just let them go. It also made me look at those ladies with 4 kids in a new light. How the hell do you do it? How are you not falling asleep while driving?

At Target today, I watched 2 different families let their toddler/preschooler tell them how it was gonna be. Maybe they were just having a bad day, who knows...
I am not trying to sound all high and mighty. I make mistakes too. But one thing I learned today is that when you make the rules, you have to mean them.