A few thoughts

In the absence of courage I become twice as strong.

Having kids means needing that courage even more.

One Year.

Cam walks. She says a few words. And for the past 48 hours, she has been bottle free.

I feel like she's 12.

Beach

 

Things I learned on vacation

1. I'm a 6. Barely. More of a really strong 5 1/2.
2. Butter should be refrigerated.
3. I'm a Mom really likes mayonnaise.
4. There is a man in the world more compulsive than my Husband.
5. I'm a Mom's hubby is basically the same thing as mine, but a taller version.
6. Jesus doesn't like when you eat shrimp.
7. There are people in the world who "get it."
8. I am too overprotective.
9. Everyone secretly likes gangster rap.
10. Tanning can be an addiction.

Vacation was at times profound. Perfect. Enlightening. Refreshing. Thank you I'm a Mom!?! family for putting up with us. We love you dearly and will cherish these memories always, or at least in the top 10 of this year, maybe the top 8.

Schnuckle

On the phone with Husband last night, he laughed at me. It was more of a snicker or a chuckle... kind of a schnuckle. And it gave me butterflies. After almost 12 years, the man can still give me butterflies.

Buddha birthday pictures

I'm BAAAAACK!

We went to the beach for 7 days with our friends. I am preparing a Top Ten Moments list... but due to the situation, I have very little memories of said moments.

But I'm back!!

Comments, who needs 'em?

I don't get comments lately, which is fine. I don't need them. I only comment when I have something to say, and I don't always have something to say. But I'm starting to think that some people only comment if you comment. HMMPH I say.

SIblings.

This is an example of the truest tenderness between siblings.

Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby

I just spent a relatively obscene amount of money on this. It was my favorite childhood story growing up. I used to play the record and listen to Uncle Remus tell his racist tale... I didn't know about the alleged racial undertones. Walt Disney was a bigot but that shouldn't ruin my fun.

I can't believe...

...he was ever this small.

Cam and her birthday presents... and Buddha's birthday present

Is anyone normal anymore?

My new motto

I always want to continue being a better parent and a better person. Maybe a better wife...

I have little motto's I tell myself, and they change every few months or so... and the current motto is one that I will use for a while.

Be for him what you want him to be.

Does that make sense? I need to model the kind of person I want Buddha to be. I don't want to be untrue to myself, but I want to improve myself so I can show him what an evolving and constantly improving person looks like. Lately I've noticed that he thinks the world revolves around him... and it is my fault. I am working on being less self-absorbed.

hmm.

I have a girl crush on Anna Farris.

Buddha's First Day

I took him to preschool today... I had butterflies.
He was excited though, and practically jumped out of the car! Once he got out, he did look around with that little lost/confused look that breaks my heart. I don't ever want him to feel lost.
I drove away and felt like half of my body was missing. I looked at his carseat and sobbed. I missed him. The house was so quiet. Cam took a nap and I cleaned bathrooms. My house will finally be clean to my former standards! Kids have really lowered my definition of clean. And edible.
I had lunch with the girls. I went to pick him up. I'm a Mom!?! and I were the first ones there! They weren't even ready for pick ups yet. But I saw him in the window, looking serene but not sad, still a little lost... or maybe I just think I saw that. He saw me and I saw his mouth move to the perfect movement that "MOMMY!" makes. He was excited to see me. But not in a "I've been miserable all day" way. More of a "I knew you'd come back" way. His teacher said he had a happy day with no potty accidents, he participated in group play, and he didn't cry.
The whole way home we talked about school. And honestly, even though the minute he got back in the car I instantly felt whole again... there's still a little piece that I think is gone forever. And I know it's a good thing, but I also know what lies ahead for him. I take lots of comfort in the way we're raising him and the people who surround him. I only hope society can be as kind to him as he deserves.

Labor & Delivery

Husband and I were driving home from lunch the other day when it hit him. Diarrhea. So he proceeds to explain to me how diarrhea cramps are basically the same thing as labor contractions. There is a high and low, the urge to push, and then it subsides for a few minutes... only to come back again full force. As he's telling me this, I'm dying laughing and he's practicing breathing exercises so doesn't shit his pants. Then he holds out his hand and says frantically, "Here's another one!" And I hold his hand through his diarrhea contraction.

And this is why we will stay married forever and ever. This is only one reason of many.

Sister! But not the nun kind.

I think it says a lot when strangers mistake you and your friends for sisters.

I always wanted a sister; I had 2 brothers and contantly begged my mom to have another baby. Stupid life-saving hysterectomy. I cursed her lack of a uterus... not really. But I REALLY wanted a sister. My brothers refused to braid my hair, play Miss Merrymack and Barbies, or even talk about boys. Assholes. Thinking about how many times GI Joe conveniently crashed Barbie's house and left it a messy filth hole... pisses me off. I honestly thought I could pee standing up until I was about 5 or 6. No matter how hard you push to make the pressure high enough to not cover your legs, it still won't work... girls aren't made to pee upright.

And no, I'm not having more babies.