The one where I lactated 4 drops

We went to the park today. HOT. We had lunch with our friends. YUM.

We got home, and I was SO FREAKING HOT that I stripped down to my panties. Buddha was in his adorable boxer briefs and Cam in a diaper. We were lying in the family room floor with the air on us. It was glorious.

Then Cam saw my boob. She got a look in her eye. A crazy look. A rabid look. And she took off like a tiger after a zebra. Before I realized what was happening, she grabbed my boob aggressively and shoved it in her mouth. HOLY HELL!! It made me laugh so hard! I have never seen her want something so badly and go after it so aggressively!! The girl knows what she wants!

Oh, and milk came out. After 6 weeks of no stimulation. I am such an Elsie.

Parenting 101

I fail Parenting 101 daily.

Everyday when I wake up, I have one goal... I try to do just one thing. I try to be the kind of person I want my kids to be. Somedays, I make it till breakfast, other days I make it till bedtime.

But I keep trying.

baby fever

I know I shouldn't have anymore kids. I want to give the 2 I have so much of me, there's just not much left.
But I love babies. I went by to see Mommapeas and baby in the hospital tonight... and it was the hospital where Cam was born... and the feelings and memories just rush back. I LOVE IT.
So I tell Husband, "I think I want another baby."
He rattles off some analogy about serving life sentences.

It's just not in the cards. :(

Preschoolers.

Buddha is a little kid now and it freaks me out. He touches everything. He stands on everything. He turns everything upside down, steps on it, kicks it, etc. He can't walk through the hallway without both hands on each wall. He says the same sentence 50 times in a row.

There is a reason I didn't teach any grades below 7th. I'm just sayin'...

Apparently, a live band and a rented dance floor is inappropriate for a 3 year old's birthday party.

But not for a 30 year old's...

I love an expensive party

I love a party. Specifically I love to host a party. Buddha and Cam's birthdays are just around the corner and I've been thinking about them all summer. Normally, I do all the planning... I pick the food, the date and time, the entertainment, the drinks... everything. Husband sits back and mumbles under his breath about how much it all costs, but he always enjoys it.

Last week we were on vacation, so we had a chance to talk more than usual. So I asked for his input about the parties... any ideas... etc. His response was "Cheap."
So I told him my ideas.
And my ideas did not coincide with his idea.
He is ruining my fun. So I may go a little over the top sometimes... he always enjoys it... but not this year. We're taking 2 vacations and buying Buddha and Cam expensive gifts (Jeep and Carseat).
Husband usually doesn't ask questions. He just shows up to the party with a Beam and Coke in hand. Last night, he started asking questions. About cost.

Not good.

Summer Vacation

We rented a house with my sisters-in-law and my in-laws in Florida. One whole week... and Buddha was so excited about it. I meticulously packed us Friday night so we could get up Saturday morning and hit the road. The drive was okay, Cam was a tiny bit grumpy from sitting in her carseat, which doesn't face the dvd player. Imagine hearing a movie and not seeing it, but instead seeing your older brother laugh and enjoy it. I'd be pissed off too.
So we get there and it was just grand. The rest of the crew got in just after us, and so our week began...
I wish I had crazy stories to tell... but something has happened. Either I am becoming "one of them" or my in-laws have mellowed out and begun their trek to semi-normalcy. Gasp!! Although a trip to the beach couldn't be complete without MIL's ginormous bush constantly sticking out of the bottom of her bathing suit. I wonder if Buddha will remember that? I certainly will.
Speaking of Buddha... the kid was in heaven. He thought we had abandoned our dogs, house, and former life in Bama to live on the beach. He stayed outside ALL day, every day. He ate outside, pottied, played... he loved every second of it. We just knew he would be mad when we left so we didn't tell him. He thought we were just running to the store for 5 hours on the way home. (In our defense, we didn't tell him that, he just ASSUMED. Don't ever assume.) Then, he woke up as we exited onto our street and freaked out. I don't blame him. I'm the mom that will tell him we're going to Six Flags and then take him to the dentist.
We let Buddha sleep with us and as much as I don't dig co-sleeping, it was kind of nice... the snuggling and cuddling, the sound of his breathing... then I realized I wasn't sleeping and the litte monster was grinding his teeth in an inhuman fashion. I would poke his mouth and then pretend to be asleep. Every morning I expected him to wake up with a mouth full of ground enamel... but alas, he is fine.
I was a drinker this week, knocking out over 2 cases of beer all by myself. I'm a big girl now.
Sis-in-law and Husband decided to do some nighttime sand running and tried to scare the rest of us. They were drunk of course, so SIL ended up face planting in the sand and laughing hysterically for 10 minutes. Husband giggles like a little girl every time we talk about it!
Husband tried to get me to loan my tweezers to MIL so they could tweeze her 2 chin hairs that were at least 3 inches long each. I refused. She was standing right there when I did so. I began to wonder how many times I offend people on a daily basis.
Cam loved the sand. She ate lots of it.
SIL took great pictures, when I get them I'll post some.

The Griswolds go to Florida...

We were at the beach last week, all week. Until I can type out the whole week's happenings, I'll just leave a picture tease.
This one is my favorite... I like to think she was crawling towards the beauty of the ocean, while in reality I know she was fleeing the scene to avoid the embarassment of the Griswolds.

They would have sat out there all day...

Buddha takes my breath away. And now he has a surfer tan...

With Cousin T, Buddha's favorite person.

Night out deaux

I went out last night with the broads from the mommy group. Some fun bitches they are! I left the kids with a non-family sitter for the first time ever... and I think Buddha likes her more than me. The whole way to the restaurant I kept silently willing Buddha to be a good boy. Buddha was excited for someone new to play with. I kept telling him that she was Tooty's aunt, but he would stop me and correct me, "Buddha's aunt. No Tooty." I fear the next time he's in the room with Tooty and the Aunt... there will be a knockdown toddler fight to claim the aunt's love.

Our evening began on the patio... we rearranged the tables too many times... we danced... we took too many pictures... we drank WAY too many margaritas. I'm a Mom!?! took a liking to a Tila Tequila look-alike, even getting her picture with her and her autograph. YankeeBelle was in full force, throwing up peace signs haphazardly. Sweet mommakim... always the DD, her time is coming... her time is a-coming. Poodlehead was all sorts of poodlish. BlueMomma was downing some wine. QueenB was giving BJ demos. Red's Momma has a trampstamp, don't we all though? We decided Heather S needs a blog so we can learn all the details of her life. TK also needs one... and needs to join the BDMGE! Anyone not mentioned... don't cry. Blog.

Read this or something bad will happen

I hate people who forward me shit that says if I don't forward it something bad will happen to me. Today, I got one. So I replied to the sender:

Aunt Alma,
Please don't send me ANY sort of message that threatens to harm my family or me if I don't send it to someone else. It makes me feel awful, I never send it, and it makes me wonder why you'd put me in such a bad place.

Love,
RM

Amen?

I love when people like Jesse Jackson get caught saying something they shouldn't.

Douchebag.

mystery

While rocking Cam for her nap, something vibrated. It was strong, couldn't have been my imagination... and has me freaked the F out. It felt like a cell phone was in my back pocket, and it was loud. I've looked everywhere, and can find nothing. What could it be??? And why do weird things happen when no one else is around???

Digestive woes

I am nauseous all the time... especially in the mornings. It's not pregnancy, I took a test. And it doesn't feel like pregnancy. For about a week now, I've been constantly nauseous, along with a little too frequent in the bathroom. I thought it was alcohol... beer shits and what not. But it isn't. Could I be dehydrated? Anyone??? I'm tired of having an upset stomach, feeling like my food is about to come back up, and being conscious of my butthole when I sit down.

Pictures!

The 4th of July, gotta love it!


Husbands and cockroaches... look hard.


Illegal to put them in the trunk?


4th of July fun!!


I love kissing her fat neck.


She loves her tunnel.

Golden? I think not.

My brother, his wife, and his 2 kids came to visit this week.
I have so much to say, but I think this sums it up...

My first trip to the Golden Corral for dinner involved the following,

1. EVERYONE stared at me. I have theories about why. I will not share those theories.
2. The manager asked me if I needed help, and said I looked lost and out of place. Apparently, I was disoriented. I said to him, "I have never been here and don't know how to do this." He guided me.
3. I took the "lost/out of place" comment as a compliment.
4. Most of my fellow diners were morbidly obese.
5. Their children were too.
6. The salad and baked potato were quite good.
7. I never got a meat because it was too scary looking.
8. I think I saw hair on the roast beef.
9. Buddha ate a bowl of sunflower seeds, cranberries, and raisins for dinner.
10.There was no corral. There was no gold.

oh yes... oh yessss...

You will be mine...

Cry with my boobs and me.

I'm a little sad, in a reminiscent way. I stopped nursing/pumping... whatever you want to call it. It feels weird to know I more than likely will never be pregnant again, never give birth again, never nurse again... Everytime I drive by the hospital where Cam was born I get all fuzzy inside. But I am ready to start living without the worry of crying it out, warming bottles, squirting boobies, etc. I wouldn't be sad if I accidentally got pregnant, I would be ecstatic! But I think it's time to focus on the 2 I have. I already have so much guilt... Buddha doesn't get the undivided attention he used to get, Cam has never gotten the kind of attention he got, and I feel like there's not enough time in the day to love them each individually the way that I want to. And I'm ready to start traveling with them... I want to show them the world, and I want to experience it with them.

On a side note... in the past 3 1/2 or 4 years, I have only had 3 periods!!!

I'm SO SPOILED.
pregnant with Buddha for 9 months
nursed Buddha for 9 months
period didn't return for another 2 months
had period 3 months
pregnant with Cam 9 months
nursed Cam 9 months
and I will probably make it through the rest of the summer period free!!