Buddha's day

Buddha's Thanksgiving party was today at school. Cam and I took chicken nuggets. I almost cried, seeing him sitting in the circle with his little Indian hat on... he has a little life outside of us and it's sad and wonderful and perfect. I like watching him, noticing him when he's not my baby, but instead a student in the class. He's good. He's quiet, well-behaved, gentle. He seems thoughtful. He is introverted, I can tell... just like me when I was a kid. I told him that I'm a Mom and her hubby were in the other room, and he went to them to give them hugs. Seeing him like that brings me to a point of weakness and pride and pure joy, so much that I can barely stand. In those moments, I'm nothing. Not in a depressing bad way, but rather in an out of body experience way. I cease to exist and my only purpose is to watch him and think about what he is feeling and thinking. He is divine. If there is a such thing as souls, his is a gentle, kind, and forgiving one. I wonder why I deserve him. I doubt any of us are good enough for children. They are perfect and simple. I keep talking about trying to be the kind of person I want him to be, but maybe I should just try to be more like him.

He also made a fruit loop necklace. Cam chased him down like a lion hunting a zebra.