Book Snobs

I hate 'em. They think they're smarter than everyone else because they find meaning in a book that most people don't. I can usually find that meaning too, but don't feel the need to hold it over anyone's head. Hell, I'm just happy that people read at all. I'm not going to criticize them for reading romance novels or say.... TWILIGHT. How insecure are people that they need to make everyone else feel stupid? And newsflash: finding meaning in an obscure book is not that big of a deal. Get over yourself. It's not like you can read minds...

Also, one of my pet peeves is when people hate something just because it is popular. And this is happening to Twilight. I know the writing is shotty, and if you hate it for that reason I can respect that. It's the wishy woshy people who come in and out in their liking of it that are annoying. One day they love it, then they hate it, then they love it... we get it okay! You're just one of those sheeple who bases their likes on everyone else's. Now zip it while I read more fan fiction.

Just in time for Veteran's Day

Buddha saw an "army man" today and HAD to say Hi to him. So I let him. We've talked a lot lately about what the military is and what they do, and sadly, why we have to have them. So today he went up and said hi to the man, told him his name and asked if he drove a tank. The man said no, that he was some kind of tactical something or another, I forget. Then, before we left Buddha looked at him and said in the sincerest manner, "Thank you." While we walked away I wondered if he was just thanking him for talking to him or what... so I asked him why he thanked him and he told me it was because he is a good guy who keeps the bad guys away for us.

And I have to admit, I was a little awestruck when I thought about some members of our military who really devote themselves to a principal so taken for granted. Freedom is really worth it all.

Now to explain to Buddha why so many wars are fought over religion. Oh wait, I don't know how to explain that.

Need another reason to hate me?

I know there is an unwritten rule with women that we can't be proud of ourselves for fear of other women feeling bad. I say to hell with that rule. My pride shouldn't determine yours. While I'm at it, I say to hell with women like that. If what I'm about to write makes you feel nervous or anxious, or makes you downright mad, then chances are you need to put down your potato chips.

I am proud of myself. I joined the gym 10 months ago and have been going several times a week every week. (minus a week or two for a horrid sinus infection) And I am seeing results. And I'm motherfucking proud of myself. I'm not the gym type. I join and slack off because I'm naturally skinny and without fat you have no reason to exercise. This was the year of my 30th birthday and my promise to myself was to be healthier. If I can't kick the eggrolls and booze then I'm going to have to start getting my lazy ass off the couch. Something's gotta give right? I'm not 19 anymore. So I've done it and I've done it well might I add. Husband has been telling me that he can see a difference for a few months now, and I'm finally seeing it too. And let me tell you, this shit is firm.

So hate me if you must. Just don't throw any quarters at me unless you want them to bounce off of my firm, white, ass and smack you in the face. Biiaaatch. (Biiaaatch thrown in for good measure.)

Trick or Treat!

I've had the same profile picture on here since I started blogging over 3 years ago. Buddha was 1 yr old in that picture and now he's 4! Crazy. I updated it with a recent picture. I feel current now. Surely there's some ugly trend I can latch on to and feel really current...

the name is random for a reason

Douchebag: still the greatest word in the English vocabulary.

I have been answering my phone with the greeting "Word up!" I can't seem to stop. I really want to stop.

At Walmart today I was doing our restocking shopping. Basically I wait until we run out of everything then face the cess pool of Walmart or Sam's. Today I saw "Sport" Tampons. I had to buy them. What makes a tampon a sport tampon? I asked myself all day, and when I got home I cracked one out only to find that it's just a tampon in a green shell. Let down. Now I have an open tampon and it just seems gross to save it until it's needed so out it went. Waste of money.

We watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. We have discussed how similar I can be to Larry David. It's funny when it's on tv, not real life. I'm really trying to get over some of my neurotic, in my head stuff.

We're car shopping right now. I went to the dealership and berated the salesman and couldn't make myself stop. It's some weird defense mechanism... I know they're all trying to stick it to us so I default to crazy bitch auto-pilot.

Saw a kid pick his nose and eat it. Reflex reaction: threw a magazine in front of my face and gasped AHHH! His mother saw me and was more alarmed by my reaction than the germ filled mucus in his mouth. Priorities.

Halloween is around the corner and I'm excited. Both kids understand and are so very anxious to get their trick-or-treat on! I'm almost ready to post some pics of my homemade costume creations.

Go SMU!

I like college football, I'm not a diehard fan but I like the whole festive nature of it. I like the sounds and the way 8 minutes of playing actually takes 30 minutes. I like the tailgate food and beer. It feels like a little vacation to sit around and watch something that's so slow yet so fast.
I grew up in Tennessee, so by default I always cheer for the Vols. I think it's some unwritten rule that if you're raised there you have to secretly hope they win. So then I went to SMU for college. Remember the awesome National Championship team they had? The dynasty? Death penalty put an end to that and we became a school with a champion swim team. It was a great college experience. It was a bit effing expensive, though not for me (Scholarship!). It was a beautiful campus, no doubt. J. Crew even did photo shoots there. But the one thing we lacked was morale. No one went to the football games. No one sported the team flag or team colors. No spirit. Our cheerleaders were even somber.
Which leads to now... I really wish I could get more excited about my alma mater. On Cam's birthday this year, SMU came to town and played UAB. AND WON. And are now #1 in their crappy conference. I was feeling good about this.
Then at the drug store the other day in my SMU t-shirt, an older man asked me if SMU had a football team now because of the death penalty. I told him yes, then in a moment of pride I said "And they even beat UAB this year!"
His reply was "Who is UAB?"

Damnit. I thought we were making strides.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the best man on Earth!

We met 13 years ago in our freshman year of college. We lived 3 or 4 doors away in a coed dorm with group bathrooms, yuck. He had long hair, soccer-boy legs, and I described him as "ethnic." I saw him and said "He will be mine." He was funny and brilliant. BRILLIANT, the smartest person I know. He is logical and makes good choices (ME!). He spoils us in so many ways. He is adventurous in the important ways but safe in the right ways. He has enriched so many parts of me. He is a father of epic proportions. He sacrifices and never says a word.

Gratitude OUT!

Now that the gratitude challenge is over I guess I can go back to my crotchety, bitchy, old self.


:) Just kidding. Whores.